Necessary

I wish to release this skin.
For my heart and mind to separate and go their own way
like the man moving off the overburdened horse and finding
a new path.

I wish to not be trapped.
Choices abound that hurt someone no matter what
like walking on miles of hot coals.

4,000 hooks dig into my soul,
pulling me in different directions.
Do this, no this, no this.
What is right? What is just? What is fair?

Make this person happy
Make this person ready
Make this person yours

A list that grows with each day.

A hook pulls, and I am at peace.
Another pull and a choice for my soul is to be made.
A third tug, and I am the keeper of secrets.
Another yank. Time to prepare my replacement.

With each hook removed, another takes its place.
No rest
No weariness
Ignore the pain, just move.

So I stand over the clear water and stare deep into the life's mystery.
Faces waver and disappear. Ripples moves along like goosebumps on the skin.
I start to plunge toward that silence and movement,
but hook 2,623 yanks me back to reality.

I wish to be free, but real freedom must wait because I am needed.
I am loved.
Loved.
And that means I keep swaying in the breeze as the hooks become chains
and the chains cover my mouth.